Musings of a teenage boy

Indivisible

2008-11-05T16:40:00.003-05:00

Well guys, it's been a good while since I've posted anything, simply because nothing that I felt about writing would've been anything I'd want anyone else to read.

As many, if not all of you know, the polls for the next president of the United States opened yesterday, and allowed millions of people to pick which candidate they most agree with, and record numbers turned out. As many of you know, Barack Obama led majorly in the polls, basically leaving McCain without a chance.

With that said, here are the lyrics to a song by Pillar titled simply: Indivisible.

For all the people in the world that don't understand
Exactly what it is we have here in this motherland
See the Father's hand started up a master plan
There's been many through the test of time take a stand
But had they ran who knows where we would be now
I thank God it's something I don't have to think about
Instead my thoughts are on the ones who laid it on the line

KIA gave their lives to let freedom shine
But in the meantime I think of those of your kind
And wonder how it is you get things so messed up inside your mind
Just think a second how long it's been going on before you
They're the one's who even helped you have the right to argue

Stop complaining move along
Open your eyes and see what's going on
We need to get back to the ways of the days of old
One nation under God indivisible

All the people let me hear you give a holler
In God we trust, In God we trust [4x]

The other day I saw the news somebody else complaining
They want the motto taken off of the Benjamin Franklin
They got a problem with my God and that I believe in it
But the don't got a problem with the money when they spend it
They're so offended by 4 words that need no explanation
In GOD we trust the motto of this greatest nation
Not just a motto but something that we truly believe
If you don't like it you can pack a bag and you can leave

One nation under God indivisible
You can't take back that, that was never yours

I don't think there is any better way to say it than how Pillar does it. I mean, first off it starts and says "for all of the people in the world that don't understand," I'm not sure that AMERICA understands what it has. In fact, I'm sure it doesn't, most americans haven't been outside of the United States, haven't seen the poverty and the hurt that most of the rest of the world experiences (which makes me ever-thankful for my Nigerien upbringing). It goes on to talk about how God started up a master plan, and let me be so bold as to say that nothing can circumvent God's plan, regardless of your beliefs or place in life, you are part of God's plan. It goes on to give credit to those who gave their lives for our freedom, I think that America has really cheapened that a lot, imagine feeling so strongly for freedom that you would give your life so that people you don't even know can have it. The song also prompts you to open your eyes and see what's going on, I believe that this applies not only to God's work in our nation, but also to how humans try their best a lot of the times to screw up God's plan.

The song goes on to talk about how people complain about us believing in God, and that they want us to take "In God we trust" off of the money, but that they don't have a problem with spending the money. I think that the last 2 lines of the song are the strongest, they say that we ARE one nation under God, indivisible, and that NOBODY CAN take that away, because it was never theirs to begin with.

Guys, I'm not sure what more I could say, besides that God knew before the earth was formed that Obama would win, and I am more than confident that God will use it to HIS glory, and that there's nothing that I need to, or COULD worry about that God hasn't already taken care of.

Peace guys, enjoy!
Phil

Some pictures

2008-08-05T20:22:00.002-04:00

Pictures from top left to bottom right: Fried fish for sale on the street, a burned tree in the middle of a clearing, that same clearing without the tree in the picture, the road to what we fondly call "Four Corners" which also happens to be a touristy spot and the home of many people who don't take no for an answer, a person riding a camel down the street had to stop and wait for traffic before crossing the street

eats & drinks

2008-07-26T19:31:00.004-04:00

Now is about as good a time as any to share about food in Niger. Philip and I have just returned from what is a first-time experience for BOTH of us -- We left the office about 8:30 pm and went to the Street Market in the Yantala part of town. For about 3 hours, we wandered, shopped and snacked along the edge of the road where streetlights mingled theirs beams with individual fluorescent lights plugged into long extension cords stretching in to the darkness away from the road. We started with rice and beans, then had some roasted field corn, then freshly cracked coconut and fried bread dough. We're not going to "tell" you about other things that we ate, but we are attaching some pictures of things we've eaten so that you'll know what a fun time we are having. Tonight's expedition cost us $2.64 for eats, $0.98 for taxi, and $4.67 for the merchandise that we bought. And, since it's night there's no sun beating down on you and everyone's in a bit of a nice mood. No pressure ... except the kind you get after you eat the wrong thing. Philip asked, "Dad, do you supposed if you chew the microbes really really well, there would be fewer of them that survived to make you sick?" Any comments?

Franc-ly Accursed, Three Nights

2008-07-25T07:25:00.001-04:00

The Hausa people say, "Kudi shege ne" or "Money is an accursed thing!" For Jim, money has been the cause of THREE sleepless nights since we arrived. His official job description while in Niger is that of "Acting Cashier" while another missionary takes their annual holiday. This means that he's in charge of the safe containing up to $45,000 in CFA francs, U.S. dollars, and Euros. At least once a week, everything has to be counted to make sure that all the numbers add up properly. It's a job that he learned to do about 10 years ago -- quite a long time for most of us to remember anything, let alone lots of details. And so it is that three nights have been spent "wrestling" with accursed money and numbers, and trying to remember how to make the two add up equally.

Once upon a time, there was a full-time missionary Treasurer here. Ten years ago when Jim helped in Treasury, it was because there was more work than one person should do. Now, three missionaries are valiantly trying to fill in and help out part-time. And they are slowly falling behind -- currently about SEVEN months. It's enough to make some missionaries swear, perhaps with reason. But what to do? Keeping track of the money and the books is vitally important to the missionary mission. Does God want us to do something differently? WE SURE DO NEED HELP!

This is not difficult work, but it is something that someone HAS to do. Could that someone be you, or a group of "yous" on a short-term mission? Do you know someone who might come "count beans" for a while? If not, would you like to help support someone(s) who can? Pray for us -- we really do need help.

TRIPPING BACK TO THE ROOTS

2008-07-20T10:10:00.003-04:00

Just over a week ago, Jim & Philip were scurrying around putting the last pieces of tape and string around their cardboard luggage. What a week it has been! We could not have imagined what it would be like to return to Niger after 5 years away. Jim’s trip to France last year was a nice escape, and for a great cause. But there is NOTHING like returning to one's roots.

The layover in Casablanca was a wonderful re-introduction to African culture. (Even though Moroccans might not consider themselves “African”, we outsiders perceive them as such). Their economy certainly affords much touristing even with a weakened U.S. dollar. For a total of $37, we rode the train round trip into town (an hour from the airport), and sampled foods all day whose names do not appear in common dictionaries. Body parts usually concealed in hotdogs and bologna were delightfully seasoned, stewed and served for pennies at street-side cafés. We had not a hint of either hunger or indigestion when we boarded our flight to Niamey at midnight on Tuesday. However, Philip provided a plane full of indigestion during the flight -- He had a nightmare about something and woke up the entire airplane screaming in terror. Usually negligent Moroccan flight attendants came rushing from both First and Cabin Class to investigate. Surely there were some passengers so terrorized they never managed to sleep again during that flight!

We arrived tired but excited in the wee hours of Wednesday, 09 July, and hit the ground running. We could tell that folks were praying for our baggage to get through Customs. They had already impounded two of our five pieces being carried for other missionaries. Jim patiently wasted 20 minutes of their time chit-chatting until the boxes were liberated without penalty. The sun was nearly ready to rise when we arrived at the SIM office – much too excited to be sensible and go to bed after two days of travel. We had a shower and a 20-minute nap, then borrowed the equivalent of a dollar from the guard to find something local for breakfast. It was the end of a great trip and the beginning of an incredible day.

To those of you who helped finance this trip, we will never begin to be able to thank you. SIM Niger is deeply grateful as well. We’ll explain why later.

[insert witty title]

2008-07-19T17:11:00.002-04:00

Well guys, it's been several days since I've posted last, so I figured (or my dad did for me) that it was time to put something down, even if I don't have inspiration or anything particularly special to write. I've spent my time here hanging out with people who understand how I feel about belonging (or lack thereof), and who understand having grown up here. I'm finally getting to perfect (or just plain learn) making Sha'i (the local tea that everybody's addicted to), and taking full advantage of that opportunity. I'm loving the opportunity to be here and eat all the local things (yesterday I had candied coconut, something all of you should try and love), talk to all the locals (including the beggars who are...hard of hearing, to say the least), and just spend time where I feel I belong best.

I guess when it comes down to it, I'm not sure where I belong, if anywhere. I feel pulled by both cultures, and when in either. I feel somewhat at home, but at my roots, I'm a creature of 2 equal and opposite halves.

Mind Over Body

2008-07-15T18:43:00.003-04:00

(just some unedited thoughts from on the plane)

Suppose for a moment that one's mind has complete control over the rest of one's body: senses, actions, reactions. Even things like pleasure and dislike are governed by what you decide to like. Suppose that in a situation of intense pain or discomfort, one could escape mentally to any place, simply by concentrating one's will. Such a thing would boarder between self-hypnosis and a coma, essentially if mastered, one could voluntarily fall unconscious and stay in a state of mental euphoria as long as one would need or want to. Imagine the possibilities if one could achieve complete control over one's body, one would be unbeatable mentally and physically in ways no one ever has before.

-Inspired by Hannibal Lector's "Memory Castle" in Thomas Harris's novel Hannibal-

House of Memories

2008-07-15T17:53:00.002-04:00

Well guys, today my father and I went back to see our house of 7 years. I took some odd 104 pictures of the yard, house, and surrounding neighborhood. I walked around saying things like "I remember when my body could fit through that hole that my head won't even fit through now" and "I remember that wall..." and "I remember climbing onto those water cooler protectors..." and "I remember roller blading on this porch for hours and hours." After endless comments and pictures (for the benefit of my brother who couldn't be here on this trip, you will be very pleased with the pictures.), we left the house and walked the neighborhood, again commenting on remembering walls, telephone poles, gates, foliage...etc. Several times throughout the walk, locals picked out my father and yelled out "Yacouba!!!" (my father's african name), and we would go over and talk about people that we knew, why were back, where we lived now...etc. You would not believe the flood of memories, good and bad, I remembered everything from the most significant, to the most menial things about the house (like the metal plate we put on the front door to stop the dogs scratching through the mosquito screen). (again, I would post the pictures, but the internet is slow enough here that posting even a select few out of the 104 would take days)

We also had an amazing dinner with an family of some old african friends of ours (which I will post about later).

Peace guys, enjoy!
Phil

Fun with friends

2008-07-15T05:46:00.003-04:00

Well guys, I've been here about a week now, and I'm starting to get comfortable knowing where I am in the town and how to get home. The other day, I finally bought the equipment for making the local tea, and I've started doing it each morning for myself. For those of you who don't know what the local tea is, let me explain: basically, you take a shot-glass full of China Green Tea leaves and put them loose in a single-serving tea pot (big enough to hold the average glass of water), and put 3-4 shot-glasses of water on them. Then, you put the pot on hot charcoal in a braxier (bray-shier) [insert picture here] and let it heat until it has been percolating for a while. Then, you put (not enough) sugar in a cup and pour it between it and the pot (to aerate it and cool it). Once the sugar has mixed in, you serve the tea in a shot-glass (handing it to the recipient with your right hand, since in this culture, the left hand is used for "bathroom things" and it is not acceptable to touch anything socially or hand anything to anyone else with your "dirty hand"). This is done three times with the same tea leaves, and the tea gets progressively weaker and sweeter. To say the least, this tea has an INCREDIBLE amount of caffeine in it (it's an acquired taste, but most missionaries/missionary kids like it) and is bitter enough that until you're used to it, you have to fight back a grimace.

Other than that, I'm eating EVERYTHING in sight that is local, and avoiding missionary-cooked meals at all costs, because american food and american culture is not why I'm in Africa (at last count, I think we've had 2 non-local meals). I'm loving it here, the heat, the humidity, and the smells (from human and animal feces, mixed with an INCREDIBLE amount of garbage everywhere), it's interesting to look at how my attitude has changed, the bad smells bring back memories and don't seem so bad anymore since I'm home.

I'm not sure if I would rather live here or in America now. I used to be sure that I'd rather be here, but now I have close friends and loved ones in America who I would not leave. I guess in the end I'm just a TCK (third culture kid) who'll make the best of wherever he is.

Peace guys, enjoy!
Phil

Eat your heart out!

2008-07-13T18:15:00.002-04:00

Well guys, we've now been here a full 5 days. Basically, since being here, I've been eating everything in sight; no holds barred. (I apologize for the lack of pictures, by the way, the connection here is slow enough that at this point uploading them takes more time than I have) I've eaten plenty of the local fritters, rice and beans, petite nems, tuo (a local starch cake with sauce over it), roasted ram (one of my personal favorites, roasted over an open fire with Maggi and it's own fat as flavorings), yams, coconut, mango (I had a mango shake just last night), and other things that slip my mind at the moment. So far, I've managed to avoid getting a stomach virus, but who knows how long that'll last (I've already eaten the sun-dried cow jerky that has a minimum of a million flies crawl over it before it's "ready" for sale).

The other day, I went to our old house and walked around the old neighborhood, and it hasn't changed at all, half of the people sitting outside their houses recognized me and said hi. They still remembered me and my brother going around shooting the local lizards with our BB guns.

Overall, it's been a thoroughly heart-warming experience, I wish all of you could be here to experience my home with me. I'll talk to you all later!

Peace guys, enjoy!
Phil

After flight fritters

2008-07-10T18:21:00.005-04:00

***pictures labeled top left to bottom right***
1. plane out of Charlotte
2. our gate in New York
3. I had to take a picture of the cow between the flag poles in Casa, Morocco just to show that we were in deed in Africa finally.
4. picture of me in the elevator going to supper at the hotel with my recently-purchased real leather hand-made Casablancan hat.
5. In Casa, we were walking and stopped to admire the local rotisserie chickens when these two restaurant worker came out to say hello and ask why the americans were walking the non-touristy section of the city. When we were going to leave, I decided to take a picture of it, and they said "take a picture of us too," so I did, and I captured all of the happiness of two random guys on the street of Casa.

(Unfortunately, the connection is such that I am not going to wait now for the rest of the more-than-enough images to upload right now. I'll wait and put one post with all of the worthy pictures later.)

Well guys, we are currently in Niamey, Niger: the capital of a country in the middle of Africa. However, before I tell you of here, let's hear about getting here...

We boarded a plane in Charlotte [insert picture of plane here] to New York after managing to avoid Obama in the Charlotte airport. When we got to New York, we got through customs and to our connecting flight with plenty of time to stop for some chinese food in the airport and some Starbucks free (advertising) samples. We boarded the plane at somewhere after 8pm and amidst wailing infants (not to be confused with wailed infants), most of the passengers *tried* to go to sleep. I ended up completely lacking in the sleep department, but between caffeine and excitement, I managed to make it (you'll find out *just* how long I made it without sleep later). When we got to Casa (short for Casablanca, Morocco), we went through the appropriate steps to get into a hotel room for the 14 or so hours we had in layover. However, we didn't *sleep* for those 14 hours, we decided that since it would be our only opportunity in a *long* time to see the fine city, we should do as good tourists do and go spend some money. We took a bus to the airport where we caught the train into the city (my first experience where we ate dishes I can't pronounce (something like shahwarma, among other things), and looked through the shops, and drank some avocado juice. When we were done, we got back to the hotel in time for supper after some down time (where, by the way I *didn't* sleep, by on a train, by the way) this time, I was tired enough that I fell asleep resting my head on one hand in the train and *almost* started drooling). We ate, and then caught the bus to the airport and flew out at 12:15am on Tuesday ECSTATIC porters who had had now idea that we (my dad worked travel here for years and years, so he knows everyone who works in the airport) were coming, and welcomed us with many hugs and handshakes. We got our boxes through customs and got a ride to SIM NIGER, were we are staying in an apartment. After we got all of the welcoming committee away, it was sunrise, and rather than sleep a few hours only to wake up feeling more tired and grumpy, I stayed up and started unpacking. In the end, I had gone approximately 3 full days with MAYBE 7 hours of sleep TOTAL, and ended up being tired enough to fall asleep between bites of supper. Now, after 14 hours of sleep, I can actually think coherently and speak in moderately understandable sentences. And trust me guys, this post is the short version.

I'll talk to all of you guys when I get back, and some of you sooner.

Peace guys, enjoy!
Phil

Before Flight Jitters

2008-07-06T23:56:00.002-04:00

Well guys, I am now just under 12 hours away from being on an airplane bound for the place I have longed for for the past 5 years. I've finally gotten to where I believe that I'm finally going to go, but I...well, for lack of a better term, I'm not ready mentally; I won't be until I'm on the airplane leaving New York for Casablanca, Morocco. I'm not ready for the flood of memories, but one way or another, I'm going, and that'll be that.

Wish me luck, that I shouldn't get too many stomach viruses from eating street food. I'll miss all of you in America, namely Sam, my favorite girlfriend, I'll see you all when I get back!

Peace guys, enjoy!
Phil

Good food, good company (in that order).

2008-06-29T18:08:00.002-04:00

Well guys, just because of a busy schedule this last week I haven't been able to post. On Saturday a bunch of old missionary friends from Niger got together for a long-overdue picnic and game-day. There were people there who we hadn't seen in 5 years, and we spent many hours talking and playing various sports (including Softball, a Niger missionary favorite played weekly). We had a blast reminiscing, making new memories, eating, telling jokes, and doing just about anything else you can imagine (I actually played football for the first time).

A lot of you know how much I enjoy a good quote or joke. I listen in conversations for things that would be funny later, and try my best to remember the best ones. If any of you have favorite quotes, feel free to contribute.

Anyway, I need to be up before 6am tomorrow, so I should go get ready for bed.

Peace guys, enjoy!
Phil

14 days...

2008-06-23T15:18:00.002-04:00

Well guys, as the title suggests, I have 14 days left before my departure. Despite the proximity of our departure, I still can't believe that it's actually going to happen. My brain keeps trying to tell me that something will happen, and it won't work out. I would venture a guess that the doubt comes from the fact that we've been talking about a trip back for many, many years, and it's never happened before. Just from past experiences, I'm guessing that until the moment we get to the airport and get on the plane, my brain will continue to hold my excitement in a choke-hold, refusing to let it escape. The night before we leave, I won't be able to sleep hardly at all (unless I deprive myself of rest the day before), and then it'll hit me that this is actually going to happen and I won't be able to be quiet.

One of both mine and my father's favorite airport activities is people-watching. We love looking at how people from all over the world interact, how they dress differently, eat differently, and generally how they are different. People-watching is a great way to pass endless hours in an airport while you wait for your connecting flight (not to mention riding up and down the escalators endlessly, which is another thing I did as a younger kid in the airport), because no matter where you are from or where you are going, you will probably have to pass through an airport at some point, which makes them a...Museum of Cultures and Nationalities for lack of a better term.

I honestly don't know how I'm going to survive the last days before we leave...

Peace guys, enjoy!
Phil

Childhood memories of poverty

2008-06-11T22:35:00.003-04:00

(just a note guys, the house that I grew up in had running water, electricity, [dial-up] internet, and phone. We were in no way living in poverty, nor extravagance, but we were still rich compared to the average guy over there.)

Well guys, if you're reading this, you should know that this summer (July 8th, specifically) me and my father will arrive in Niamey, Niger for a long deserved visit. Unless you've been in our situation, you can't come near to understanding the...need that we have to see the place where we grew up. Lately I've had many people asking me if I'm "excited about the trip," and as I answered, "yes!" I analyzed my facial expression and thought that maybe I wasn't showing quite what I was feeling. Unless you yourself have been homesick, you probably don't understand what it's like to have to learn how to drown out your feelings (if only so you don't bust out crying), and after 5 years of having to do that, it becomes hard to turn off. I am more excited than you could possible imagine! I can't wait to see the places and experience the memories that I've been drowning out.

I am of the opinion that everyone should experience a foreign culture at some point in their lives. It is such an eye-opener to walk down a street and see groups of children doing whatever they can to get some nourishment. It really makes you consider how truly fortunate we are to live in a country which in the peak of it's "economic down spiral" would be richer than what these people live out every day. Imagine what you've heard of the Great Depression, and apply it to every day rather than just a short period in time, imagine people starving everyday, seniors and children alike. Some of you might point out that starvation happens in America too, and it does. Take the starvation factor in America, and multiply it by X, and you've begun to get an idea of what it's like where we are going (not to mention concentrating the national number of deaths by starvation in America, and concentrating them to one city). That is the place where I grew up, I love it for it's simplicity, and hate the poverty that so entangles it.

Peace guys, enjoy!
Phil

fun with friends and family

2008-06-06T21:55:00.004-04:00

Today my family had several relatives and friends over to surprise my grandma (her birthday is coming up). As the day panned out, I was slightly disappointed that I didn't have the time to do all the things I wanted to (namely spend a few hours with my girlfriend). When I realized how much fun my grandma was having, however, I decided that I would enjoy her happiness and sacrifice as much of my time as we needed to make her happy.

Much to all of our chagrin, my grandmother has trouble with memory loss. We actually accidentally let it out once that we were going to surprise her (by bringing her daughter down her), but she forgot completely about it. When my aunt (her daughter) and her husband walked through the door, my grandma's face lit up like a christmas tree. She kept saying how she couldn't believe it, all throughout the night, she kept voicing her amazement and how we had "got her good." We all hate the Alzheimer's, but I got to watch my grandma experience that happiness again and again, and got to listen to her amazement again and again. I couldn't help but wonder if forgetting wasn't a good thing sometimes, and I thought of the irony that in the middle of such a horrible disease, there could be such goodness.

As the day panned out, I didn't have much time to myself. I decided to enjoy myself anyway, and ended up being able to spend a little over an hour with my girlfriend, then my outlaws came back over for supper and we ended up playing a rowdy game of Spoons (which, in case you didn't know, often includes violence and/or bloodshed). The day's happenings reminded me of how much fun it is to just be with friends and loved ones. It reminded me of how you can get distracted by all of the goings on in the world around you and forget about the people that you might not get to see every day. I know that I have been a little distant lately planning out the upcoming trip to Niger, thinking about school next year, and trying to plan to spend time with my friends around my parents' schedule. I think that we all need to set time aside to spend time with our loved ones, completely separate from all distractions, just to spend time with them. Just a thought, think about it.

Peace guys, enjoy!

Life happens, sometimes well, sometimes otherwise

2008-06-04T22:34:00.003-04:00

Well, I found out the other day that I have a tooth abscess (infection in the root of the tooth) and need a root canal. As I waited out the day in excruciating pain (even though I was on the maximum dosage of pain medication that the dentist gave me), my dad told me the story of how he had an abscess while he was in Africa. He went to several specialists, and all of them told him that he had an abscess, but none of them could find it. He lived with the most pain you can imagine for 2 months while the tooth died, and then, 5 months later, a doctor found the abscess and gave him a root canal.

As I listened to the story, I just couldn't comprehend how he stayed sane during those months, spending hour after hour in what I can only describe as hell. I only had the pain for about 12 hours, and I was able to sleep through most of those, and at times, I thought I was going insane. Imagine the most painful thing you can, then make it constant, and imagine that you are utterly unable to do anything about it. Imagine the helplessness, imagine waiting out second upon second.

As I sympathized with him, I couldn't believe my luck that it had happened now, rather than while I was in Niger this summer (only about a month away for those of you who don't know). Unless you have been there, you can't understand how behind technologically they are. I remember when I was young, I was hanging on a zip-line, when I fell off and bit clean through my bottom lip. My parents rushed me to the clinic while I was bleeding and crying, and when they finally got me there, the clinic told my parents that they didn't have the painkiller, and that we would have to go to the pharmacy to get it. Of course they did, and when they got back, the "doctor" (if he could be called that) injected me with it and stitched me up. I found out later that the "doctor" didn't know what he was doing and injected me incorrectly, so not only was I bleeding from a hole in my lip, but I felt the pain as he stuck me with the needle and pulled the thread through.

At times I resent having to be in the US, rather in what I often refer to as my home, but I am thankful for doctors and dentists who know what they are doing, and thankful for the privilege of living in such a prosperous country.

Peace guys, enjoy!
Phil

Thoughts on a hot day

2008-06-02T20:02:00.003-04:00

Well guys, (for me) it's finally coming to the end of school.

Yesterday, the temperature here in South Carolina peaked out at about 96 degrees, and I had to spend several hours outdoors, and I thought to myself (namely while I was mowing a friend's lawn) that "You know, this summer, it'll be about 20 degrees hotter than this." Then I thought to myself about all the sweat, all the stink (you would NOT believe the smells), and all the memories. I thought to myself that chances are I would be uncomfortable, but that discomfort is mental, you can ignore it (this is also a MAJOR teaching in the culture over there), but that you can't ignore the memories. I thought to myself that I would enjoy being hot and sweaty because of the memories it arises of my childhood and because of the new memories it will start (being packed into a subcompact between BIG female African "mamas" as we call them, is something you will never forget, no matter how badly you might want to).

Personally, I am of the opinion that memories are an essential part of our beings, because they mold us into who we are. "Good choices come from bad experiences. Bad experiences come from bad choices." is one of my favorite quotes because it is so true, our choices spawn our memories, whether they be good or bad. The good thing about bad choices is that they make you mature and learn how to deal with that situation better, without bad choices, no one would be able to handle any kind of crisis. I guess what I'm trying to say is that bad things can be good if you learn from them.

Peace guys, enjoy!

...longing for home...

2008-06-01T00:49:00.000-04:00

Not many people today know what it is to have “itchy feet.” There are few who understand how painful it is to have “home” be on a different continent, and to not be able to even visit. For approximately 5 years, I have been away from my home, visiting a place that is foreign and bizarre to me. For 5 years I have been called strange and worse, for acting how I had always viewed as normal, because this is not where I belong. In the missionary circle, they refer to people like me as TCK’s, or Third Culture Kids, because we will never really belong in either culture (in my case, Nigerian, or American), but we still feel the need to belong in each place. Most people think we’re cool, but most of them never really accept us, to them we’re a novelty item for a moment, but then we’re just strange.

That is how I feel now, and how I have felt for the last several years. I have a fundamental need to go back to Niamey (Niger), the place that was my home for as long as I can remember, if only to see the place where I grew up. Unless you have felt this need yourself, you can’t fully understand how I feel.

If I went back to Niamey, I would reconnect with what made me who I am today, I would visit the places that I grew up around, climb the trees that entertained me for endless hours as a kid, talk to the nationals, drink Green Tea (a local staple of everyday life), and eat what the nationals eat. I would spend the time reliving my childhood and getting to know the culture that I grew up in and took for granted, but most of all, I would spend my time being where I belong more than anywhere else.

With that in mind, I couldn't help but go looking for pictures of my home in anticipation of my return. I found these sites which hold pictures of what I saw every day growing up. For the past 5 years, I've been learning to stifle the emotions inside, the longing for home, but when I saw these pictures, tears came to my eyes and I longed for it all the more.

follow these links to see the place that I grew up calling home, to see the places and people that I saw everyday.

http://search.pbase.com/search?q=Niamey

http://www.hobotraveler.com/184_46niameyphotos.shtml

Peace guys, enjoy.
Phil